When I started dating, I thought financial conversations would be straightforward—after all, I wasn’t spending beyond my means. But I quickly realized how vulnerable I felt when the topic came up.
Deep down, I knew I hadn’t been the best steward of my finances. I wasn’t tracking my spending or saving intentionally, and the fear of being judged made me defensive and uneasy.
That was my wake-up call. It hit me: how could I hope to build a future with someone when I didn’t even have a solid grip on my own finances?
As singles, we often focus on whether to split the bill or let the guy pay, but maybe it’s time to think bigger. Are we financially ready—not just for dating, but for life? It’s a question that can feel overwhelming, but ignoring it won’t make it go away.
Here’s my honest experience of learning to take charge of my finances and why I think this is a conversation worth having.
Why We Tend to Ignore Our Finances
Let’s be real—when you’re single, it’s easy to live in the moment. I used to think as long as I wasn’t overspending or racking up debts, I was doing fine. I wasn’t overly interested in investments, so my money just sat in the bank.
On top of that, I loved enjoying life. I didn’t want to wait until I had someone in my life to start living it. So, I happily took myself on musicals, exhibitions, nice meals, and a good glass of wine. It felt good to treat myself and create those memories.
But what I didn’t expect was that these habits would follow me into dating. While I still loved doing those things, I started realizing how expensive they were, especially when shared with someone else.
The habits that felt freeing as a single now came with a cost that I hadn’t prepared for.
The Wake-Up Call: Why Financial Readiness Matters
When I finally sat down to track my expenses, the reality hit me hard. Here are a few things I discovered:
I was spending too much on food. My love for cafes and restaurants was great but not for my savings.
I’d locked up money in self-care packages. Nothing wrong with pampering myself, but I hadn’t been discerning about what I signed up for. Were these really necessities?
I was spending excessively on transport. Time mismanagement meant I relied heavily on private hire rides (i.e., Tada, Grab...) when public transport would’ve worked just fine.
These habits weren’t inherently bad, but they showed me I wasn’t prepared for bigger commitments. Weddings, housing, family, emergencies—these aren’t things you can just wing financially. And it made me wonder: what if I kept ignoring my finances?
The Consequences of Avoiding the Issue
Continuing to ignore our finances as singles can have real consequences:
Stress in Relationships: Financial vulnerability can lead to defensiveness or even conflict. I’ve experienced it myself—feeling judged or insecure because I wasn’t where I wanted to be financially.
Limited Options: Ignoring your finances now might mean fewer opportunities later. Want to travel, buy a home, or start a family? These things require planning and saving.
Poor Stewardship: As Christians, we’re called to be faithful with what God has entrusted to us. If we’re careless with our finances, it can limit our ability to bless others or give generously.
The truth is, ignoring your finances today doesn’t just delay the problem—it multiplies it.
Taking Charge: Start Small, Start Now
If this sounds daunting, don’t worry. You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Here’s how I started:
Track Your Spending: Look at your bank statements and group your expenses into categories. You might be surprised at where your money is going.
Set Realistic Goals: Start with small changes, like finding cheaper alternatives for daily items. For example, I swapped out some pricier purchases for equally satisfying budget-friendly options, and it does make a difference... One dollar at a time, haha 😂
Build Habits, Not Restrictions: I didn’t cut out all my fun spending, but I started setting a budget that included savings, essentials, and enjoyment.
This process isn’t just about numbers—it’s about growth. I realized that building good financial habits was about more than my own comfort. It’s about being ready for the life I want to build someday.
Final Thoughts: A Challenge for Us Singles
Whether we're single, dating, or preparing for marriage, it’s never too early to get serious about our finances. Think of it this way: if we're not willing to put in the effort to manage our money well now, what makes us think it’ll magically get easier later?
And if the thought of reviewing your finances makes you uneasy, you’re not alone. It’s vulnerable and uncomfortable, but it’s also a chance to grow. Taking ownership of your finances now means setting yourself up for more peace and opportunities in the future.
As we wrap up the year, I challenge you to take some time to reflect:
How much are you spending each month, and are you comfortable with it?
What’s one small step you can take to better manage your finances?
The earlier we start, the more prepared we’ll be—not just for ourselves, but for the future God is leading us into.
Join Us for SC Social Night!
Let’s keep this conversation going! Join us for SC Social Night: Jan'25 Edition, hosted by Sacred Companion SG. This session is all about readiness — from financial to emotional and beyond.
Grab your early bird ticket ($16 - includes dinner) when you register by 21 Dec 2024.
See you there! 😊
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