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Let’s be real—church isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. I remember the idealized version I had in my head. I thought that everyone in church would be kind, loving, and fully living out Scripture. I imagined a group of people who, at their core, would desire God’s ways and prioritize His work above all else. But let’s be honest, that’s not always the case. And when I realized that, it was like a punch to the gut.
The truth is, we’re all just people. We come to church with baggage, flaws, and pride. We still have our flesh to wrestle with. It’s hard to be 100% in tune with God when you’re still figuring out how to handle your own issues, desires, and weaknesses. And no matter how much we want to pretend that we’ve got it all together, the reality is that we don’t. We might say we’re ‘in Christ,’ but we’re still dealing with the mess of our humanity. I’ve had moments where I expected my church family to be there for me in every way, to be the perfect support when I was struggling. But then I realized something important: my first helpline should always be God. And if I need something more specific—like professional help—then I need to look beyond the church leaders and find someone equipped to help me. It's a hard pill to swallow when you realize that no one, not even your pastor or fellow believers, can meet all your needs.
The Church Isn’t a Bed of Roses, It’s a Place to Grow—Even When It Hurts
Here’s the thing: church doesn’t always feel like a place of peace and joy. There are days when I don’t feel like going. There are days when I don’t have the energy to be “social” or even the strength to stand alongside other believers. But the truth is, I still need to show up. I show up because God calls me to, even when I’m tired, even when I’m hurt, and even when I feel like a hypocrite just sitting there. That’s where I see God’s strength in my weakness.
We need to stop pretending that church is supposed to be this picture-perfect community where everyone is a saint. It’s not. It’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, and sometimes, people will disappoint you. But the call to gather isn’t about whether we like it or not, or whether we think it’s worth it. It’s an act of obedience. God has commanded us to gather (Hebrews 10:24-25). It’s not a suggestion or a bonus; it’s part of our calling as believers.
Church Is a Mess, But It’s Our Mess—And That’s the Point
So here’s the uncomfortable truth: How can a group of broken sinners possibly unite and fellowship together? It sounds impossible, doesn’t it? Well, that’s because it is—at least by human standards. The only way we can come together as a church, despite our differences, our egos, and our failures, is through the Holy Spirit. It’s not by our strength, it’s by His. And when we get it right—when we love each other despite our flaws and try to build each other up—the world sees something they can’t explain. It’s not human; it’s divine. It’s the Spirit of God working in us, making us one body.
And yes, there are days when I want to scream in frustration because the person next to me in church is acting like a jerk, or the leader doesn’t seem to have it all together. But guess what? I’m just as guilty. I don’t always have my act together either. That’s why we need the church—not because it’s perfect, but because it’s the place where we learn to love, forgive, and grow.
The Church Is Not a "Consumer" Experience—It’s a Calling
Yes, we know church isn’t meant to be a consumer experience, but let’s be real: sometimes we have needs. Spiritual needs, emotional needs, relational needs. There are seasons in our lives when we need different things from the church. We need encouragement, support, healing, teaching, or maybe just a sense of belonging. And that’s okay. It’s okay to acknowledge that we have needs, especially when we’re navigating different seasons.
But here’s where it gets tricky. We need to be honest with ourselves about those needs. If you’re not growing spiritually or actively participating in church, it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself why. Why aren’t you engaging? Why do you feel disconnected or stagnant? These are important questions we need to wrestle with. Don’t ignore them.
At some point, we need to take responsibility for our own faith journey. Yes, we need guidance, mentorship, and accountability—but we also need to take initiative. If you’re feeling stuck or disconnected, it’s crucial to have those tough conversations with your mentors, leaders, or even peers. And of course, pray. Ask God to show you what’s next, whether that means having a conversation with your church leaders or even considering whether it's time to find a new church community where you can truly worship, grow, and serve.
Now, I know some of you might not like hearing this, but I’m going to say it anyway—our loyalty isn’t to any particular church, but to Jesus. Yes, we should be part of a local body, but at the end of the day, all Christian churches that teach the Word of God are part of His kingdom. What matters most is that we’re in a community where we can engage deeply, where we can be stretched and held accountable, and where we can serve alongside others who are on the same journey.
Church isn’t about finding the perfect place—it’s about finding a place where you can participate, grow, and contribute to the work God is doing. So if you’re feeling disillusioned or disconnected, don’t let that stop you. Take it to God, trust the Holy Spirit to guide you, and step out in faith.
And if you've been watching sermons online for a prolong period of time without attending a church... it's never too late to rejoin fellow believers in worshipping and fellowshipping physically.
Why at Sacred Companion SG, Church Participation Is a Non-Negotiable
At Sacred Companion SG, we hold one principle as non-negotiable: our participants must be actively worshipping in a local church. This isn't about discrimination; it’s about supporting Christian singles in their faith journey. We are a parachurch organization—we are not a church. Our role is to come alongside local churches and help Christian singles build connections, grow in their faith, and ultimately serve God. Our gatherings are based on the assumption that those who attend are already part of a community of believers.
One of the key reasons we started Sacred Companion SG was to address a painful reality: some Christian singles in Singapore are dating/marrying outside of the faith because they don’t have enough opportunities to meet other like-minded believers. While we are not condoning that, we must acknowledge it as a fact. Our goal is to create a space where Christian singles can connect, support each other, and, for some, find their lifelong partner. But more importantly, we want to ensure that the relationships formed are God-centered and aligned with His Word.
To have a relationship or a marriage that truly honors God, we must first live out our faith. And a clear indicator of that is our active participation in a church community (note: attending church is not a prerequisite to salvation, as salvation comes through Christ alone. However, attending church is a response of obedience from someone who has been saved).
It’s not about finding the perfect person; it’s about being the right person, grounded in the body of Christ, living out our faith in community. We believe that a healthy church community is foundational to living a life that honors God, whether in singleness or in marriage.
So, if you’re looking for community, growth, and the opportunity to build Christ-centered relationships, Sacred Companion SG is here to support you—but always with the expectation that you’re rooted in a local church where you’re actively worshipping and serving. We are here to walk alongside you in your journey of faith, and together, we’ll seek to honor God in every step.
Check out upcoming events in February 2025:
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